One: You will never look for parking ever again. (or fend off a meter maid)

We just slam our cars into a snow bank and call it a day. Anything else would be a complete waste of time. If you spent just 15 minutes a day looking for parking, and with an average American life expectancy of 77 years (not counting the first 16 years before you can drive), this would add up to a total of 232 days of looking for parking in your lifetime. I'd rather cut out my own gall bladder with a blunt instrument than waste that much time on parking.

Two: There are no blood sucking parasites above 6000 feet. (like fleas and ticks)

Imagine that. You can prance or roll around in a meadow and not lose a quart of blood to those evolutionary abominations. Also, if you own a dog or cat up here, you never have to worry about them getting fleas or ticks. High-altitude pets are the cleanest animals around. So clean, in fact, we like to eat off them.

Three: You can go outside in the summertime and feel down right comfortable

Most mountain towns above 6000 feet have average summer temperatures in the 80's. Oh, and with 0% humidity. Say goodbye to those 110 degree days where you can do nothing but sit next to the air conditioner, wallowing in your own sweat and tears while you listen to "ice, ice, baby."

Four: Crime rates are extremely low. Violent crime is practically nonexistent

Most likely, your car will never get broken into ever again. So replacing the car stereo will no longer be a yearly expense. With regards to your house, don't even worry about locking the door. Most mountain town residents have left their homes unlocked for over thirty years. I can sell a map of said houses to any interested parties. (hint, hint)

Five: Raising children? There are no gangs above 6000 feet. (it's a proven fact)

Much like other worldly parasites, gang members have a low oxygen threshold and cannot survive in a high altitude environment. Moreover, exposed butt cracks are very susceptible to hoar frost.

Six: You get to pet cute animals.

One of the many benefits of mountain living is the abundance of furry little creatures. Most of these creatures are afraid of humans and pose no threat. However, you do have to be wary of the occasional hippie drum circle. The trance like rhythms emanating from these circles have been know to create a general malaise towards society.

Seven: You are no longer just another worker bee in the hive.

Look at the faces of your fellow commuters in the morning and tell me they don’t all look like miserable drones following orders. There is no commute in mountain towns, no rat race. We do have plenty of honey, though.

Eight: You get to make snowmen and go sledding.

It makes you feel like a kid again. Nuff said.

Nine: People trust you.

If you walk up to a stranger in a city and introduce yourself, their first instinct will be, "is this guy going to rob me?" Not so in a mountain town. "Oh, you say that's nasal decongestant? I'm feeling a cold coming on, maybe I'll give it a shot."

Ten: We are happy here.

And I'm not talking about that soma-infused Brave New World type of happiness. You can find that in any crack shack west of the Mississippi. We are legitimately happy with our lives here. (and you might be too!)

Alright I lied. I'm pretty tired and want to go to bed so there are only ten reasons to ditch your city job and move to the mountains.